We’re not dieticians, but we’re going to recommend a glass of water go along with the mouthful of dirt Nikita just ate on this awesome rope swing face plant.

“Bitch your to fat to be wearing a 2 piece, but lets watch her anyway”. Hilarious!

Even with all this happening in front of your eyes, it’s amazing that you don’t notice the crazy man standing behind you with an axe… Ha! Made you look. All these photos of Jessica Jane Clement make me crave a tall glass of breast milk. Straight from the delicate breast of a cow that is.

Driver: San Francisco is pure, unadulterated car porn. Better still, it’s Quantum Leap meets car porn. Protagonist Tanner is a high-functioning coma patient in his own dream world and he can effectively Being John Malkovich his consciousness into any driver of any car in his make-believe city.

Also, Tanner is a consummate petrol head who has seen too many car chase flicks and thus has subconsciously populated this metropolis with every kick-ass ride from Aston to Zonda. With over 120+ licensed vehicles, its timeless setting, unique car handling and renewed playability, Driver San Francisco will revitalize the over-the-top car chase experience for the current generation of gaming platforms.

Learn more about the ‘SHIFT’ mode after the jump, providing you with the ability to switch between cars, a real innovation for action driving games.

Antarctica: an extraordinary continent of awesome beauty. It is also home to an isolated outpost where a discovery full of scientific possibility becomes a mission of survival when an alien is unearthed by a crew of international scientists.

The shape-shifting creature, accidentally unleashed at this marooned colony, has the ability to turn itself into a perfect replica of any living being. It can look just like you or me, but inside, it remains inhuman.

In the thriller “The Thing,” paranoia spreads like an epidemic among a group of researchers as they’re infected, one by one, by a mystery from another planet.

Coming October 14 – 2011.

Director Diana “Spaghetto” Manfredi teamed up with Estevan Oriol to developed “Face-Off”. The film explores Estevan shooting the subjects he is most known for; gangstas, lowriders and women.

The two men who made this video are without a doubt, kings among men. They deserve the finest meats and cheeses in all the land.

The woman they were chasing? She is everything that is wrong with people on earth, scummy old whore. Yeah I said it.

These photos remind me of a summer job I had a few years back as a sunscreen applier at the beach. It was a wonderful few hours. I say a few hours because that’s how long it lasted before I was arrested. I haven’t rubbed sunscreen into a woman’s inner thigh since.

Legs Of Steal are proud to announce the release of a film about skiing, winter, snow and our friends, “Nothing Else Matters”. The film will be available online this September, and best of all it will be free! Stay tuned to LegsOfSteel.eu.

At Mexico’s state run Cereso prison in Juarez, the inmates really are running the asylum. On Monday a group of prisoners somehow got their hands on machine guns and assault rifles before attacking a group of rivals, killing 17 people including a woman and injuring 72 others. All of it was captured by surveillance cameras.

The footage below shows two inmates talking to two guards, who then walk away. Seconds later the prisoners are seen unlocking a holding cell allowing several gunmen to enter it and start firing. The gunmen can even be seen reloading their weapons.

Investigators found 729 shell casings from the one minute and 40 second attack. 400 inmates were tested for traces of gunpowder and an AR-15 rifle was recovered. Investigators are still looking for five other guns that were used.

This month was full of quality fails, some worse than others. There is over 9 minutes of pain in the video below. Enjoy the compilation you little devils.

Machine Gun Kelly aka MGK or Kells is a 21 year old rapper from Cleveland and is known for his awesome live shows, fresh style and rapid fire delivery.

Machine Gun Kelly has spent the last year turning heads and building his already solid fan base even bigger through touring, dope videos, and of course, rad music.

Shock Mansion has been a fan of Kells for a while now and recently had the chance to chat to him on the phone about girls, tattoos, food, music and everything in between.

Click play below to listen to our phone call.

Caution explicit language used…use headphones if your at work:

The Midwest emcee is proud of his hometown and takes efforts to make sure fans are aware. For example, check out his “Cleveland” video below, it’s dope.

Make sure you stay glued to his: WebsiteTwitterYoutubeFacebook.

I can’t confirm that Jasmine Waltz is actually a mother, but if she is, ooooh baby! Any women that hot who is willing wash the car gets a tick in my book. But I will take that tick away if she leaves streaks on the windshield. Impress me Jasmine, here’s a bucket. Go go, now now.

Field Productions is proud to present their eighth ski movie installment: Being There.

With some of the best skiers within all aspects of modern free-skiing, and a passionate film crew equipped with the best of HD cameras, this movie will both thrill and amaze you. Along side amazing action shots and mind blowing scenery, this movie will give you a behind the scenes look at the production itself. Check it out.

Comedian Kassem G talks to convention goers about Comic-Con. I couldn’t stop laughing, that was great, now all I have to do is wait for next years!

*Twiddles thumbs*…*Gets bored within seconds*…*Starts surfing porn sites*.

I love you internet.

Oh, before I forget, watch last years video after the jump. It’s full of slutty hilariousness!

Peter Berg (Hancock) produces and directs Battleship, an epic action adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force.

Based on Hasbro’s classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones.

Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist; Alexander Skarsgard as Hopper’s older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson.

Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper’s crew-mate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior, Admiral Shane.

Family Guy enters it’s 10th season starting September 25th, 2011. Peter goes to war against the Amish, Stewie drives, and the guys head to the deep south are just previews to what we can look forward too!

From what I can tell, this awesome video takes place on a go-kart track. This rider has some serious balls/skills to pull this off on such a heavy bike. Keep ripping dude.

Take a casual stroll around Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory with the one and only Big Black filmed by Derick G. I’d do anything for a bowl of Special Buddies cereal right about now. One of the best cereals you’ve never heard of.