A ‘giant rat’ measuring 4ft from nose to tail has been caught and killed by a pensioner with a lump of wood on his farm. Brian Watson, 67, from Waskerley, Consett in County Durham, was made aware of the monster’s presence after his granddaughter’s boyfriend cried out while mowing the grass.

Mr Watson said: ‘I heard him shouting there was a large rat. I came running round the corner. I managed to grab some wood on the way. It wasn’t very fast. I managed to kill it there and then. I’ve never seen a rat as big in my life before.’ One reason it was quite slow is that it might have been pregnant.

He was obviously a human in his past life. Good form old chap.

The moral of the story isn’t to make sure your children are vaccinated against rabies. It’s that when they hold innocent animals captive, they get what they deserve.

Check out these animals who decided they didn’t want to become food! Looks like your eating salad again today buddy!

Giant Spider Eating Snake

Cat city bitch,
Cat cat city bitch,
Ten ten ten twenties on ya kitties bitch,
100 paws deep V.I.P. no guest list,
Meow you don’t know who you f**king with?

Many more gangster cats hiding after the jump…

It isn’t hard to tell how badly this dog wants the treat…

Everyone has their own way of unwinding after a long week. Animals are no different. Here is a selection of animals which are most probably high on marijuana.

My cat Boo has the terrible habit of messing with the door stop to wake us up early in the morning. He doesn’t do it because he’s hungry, he does it because he feels lonely. When he flicks the door stop it scares the crap out of us and we wake up right away.

The guys at Brain Farm do everything better than everyone else. Their cinematography is completely out of this world.

Their 2012 highlight reel includes: Hot girls, snowboarding, surfing, hot girls on dirtbikes, people jumping out of helicopters, weddings, volcano shots, scenic heli shots of a tropical paradise, avalanches, yachts, butterflies, Wee Man getting hit with a fish, wolves, Las Vegas, skateboarding, wild horses and heaps more!

My eyes are having an orgasm. I have no idea what just happened, but I loved every second of it.

Trust me you may watch this a few times. Check it out after the jump…

Many animals spend a lot of time playing. This is especially true of large mammals that we often rank high on the intelligence scale; dogs, apes, humans and of course dolphins.

Dolphins, like dogs, will often use objects that they find in their environment for games like keep-away or tug of war. This includes seaweed and ocean debris, but also living ‘objects’ like marine turtles and octopi.

Perhaps one of the most fascinating forms of play was young bottlenose dolphins creating bubble rings.

When you spend your entire life in the water, potentially in captivity, things can get a little boring. No wonder these poor guys get creative…

This is a pretty obvious concept, but the results are beyond amazing. These cute and cuddly little animals are chilling with a stuffed toy version of themselves. I wish I had a toy version of myself!

Plenty more after the jump…

There is a reason why dogs are a mans best friend, and its not for the loyalty or companionship. It’s for the comedy they provide with their stupid looking faces and they lovable idiot demeanor.

More dogs being hilarious after the jump…

We’re not sure if we should feel sorry for this bird. On one hand, he’s clearly been exposed to some straight up dirty stuff. On the other hand he seems to be having a good time. If your parents/boss walk in while your watching this, quickly switch to porn, it will be way easier to explain.

Grizzly man Mark Dumas, 60, is the only man in the world who can touch a polar bear. And as these incredible pictures show the fearless bear handler from Abbotsford, British Columbia, even goes for dip in his swimming pool where he and 16-year-old polar bear Agee enjoy a watery cuddle together.

Mark and wife Dawn, 60, train the massive beast – the world’s largest land predator – to star in high-budget TV adverts. She has even performed in movies like ‘Alaska’ in 1995 when she was just a few weeks old. With his incredibly intimate bond Mark wrestles on the grass with Agee, kisses her, puts his head in her huge jaws, and even bear hugs her as she rears up on her hind legs to over seven feet.

Mark and Dawn have owned Agee since she was six weeks old and the colossal mammal even lived in their home as a cub where she played with the family dogs and was bottle fed…

A group of guys fishing 25 miles southeast of Wrightsville Beach captured video of a great white shark slowly circling their boat. The big fella circled their 21ft boat for 20 minutes waiting for one of them to fall in. Apparently shooting or killing a Great White Shark off the coast of the U.S. is punishable by up to 10 years in prison and/or a 500,000 fine…so yeah, don’t even think about it.

A man was texting while walking down his driveway in La Crescenta, California and came face to face with a black bear! The bear encounter was captured on live tv by a news helicopter.

3 tonne bull elephant seals fight vicious battles to win mating rights on the world’s most crowded beach.

Watch this amazing clip from BBC One’s Life in the Freezer with David Attenborough.

And be thankful that your not stoned, because these creatures are pretty weird looking, like mutant slugs on steroids…

‘Text From My Dog’ is a tumblr dedicated to documenting hilarious text messages an owner gets from his dog. If only this was real life!